Today after church we received a call from the adoption coordinator.
Tiffany and I both felt like the home study we had on Friday went very well. We felt like we were prepared for any questions the social worker may have and afterwards we thought it well and we had answered her questions with well researched and thought out answers.
Back to the phone call today; Tiffany was speaking to the coordinator while I drove us home from church. Two things stood out in the conversation. One, Tiffany is not old enough to be on Roman's birth certificate in the Ukraine (the age difference must be 15 years). This little piece of information was devastating to Tiffany and so ensued the tears. We have already been afraid Roman would feel like the baby was Tiffany's child and Roman was mine because of the timing, so this just made Tiffany feel that much more out of the adoption loop. Then we found out we will get a new birth certificate in the US and she will be on that one.
The second thing and admittedly much more damaging for both us of, is that the social worker told the coordinator she didn't think we were old enough to adopt a 15 year old boy. We did not have a good reaction to this. We have struggled with our own fears about diving into parenthood and this was less than reassuring. What we do have to assure of this being the right thing to do is the fact that this a calling from God, for us to bring our son home. Some people I have spoken to are having trouble with that concept. I will try to explain it the best I can. My own personal experience is this; I know I was commanded to go to the Ukraine to get my son and bring him home. The understanding I have to full fill this command is as natural as eating when I am hungry or sleeping when I am tired, it is just one of those things you don't have to be reminded to do, you just do it because you know you have to. Until it happens to you, it is very hard to understand coming from someone else. I have never in my life had a feeling like this. I am so positive that this is God's will that I promise you I will stake everything on it, I have never had this kind of faith in God before. I thought giving the tithe when I was flat broke and didn't get paid for another week was living in faith, but let me tell you, this is a whole new level for me. For those of you who know me, you know I am very methodical, practical and I will not do anything without a great deal of planning, preparation and research.
Now, I just pray and listen to God and try my best to do what he commands.
All we can do now is pray that God will speak to the hearts of the people that make the decisions in this adoption process and hope they listen.
-Ken
spoken like a veteran father.
ReplyDelete-john kiser
I just wanted to give my input. I am 14 years older than my niece. She has lived with us for seven years and we have guardianship. At times, when things were difficult, I asked God why on earth he gave me a child to care for that wasn't much younger than I was. I asked Him why he would give me this child when I was so young myself or when I didn't have as much life experience. Regardless, He gave her to us and expected us to do our job.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I am 16 years old and my husband is 18 years older than our Ukrainian child. Our social worker was very supportive but said she might have been more hesitant if we didn't already have our oldest. I'm praying for you.
*16 year's older
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