First and Second Trip to Ukraine

From Face Book:

Well, the trip went very well. Allot of traveling in a short period, felt like a deployment at times. My guides Alex and Sasha were wonderful. Overall, the country was what I expected, but some things were very different. They drive really fast and crazy, but its normal there. Alex drives like I used to, Tiffany would be scared to ride with him, I thought it was awesome. The food is very different, I started to find the food I liked after three or four days, then I was a happy camper. Roman seemed to be enjoying his summer, he was sooooo dark. The clothes are the same for men, the women dress very sexy, I'm not complaining, sorry honey, love you, lol. Can't wait to go back, just dreading the flight and train ride. Maybe Alex can rent a lambo and we could drive to melitopol in half the time. Haha.  -Ken

-Posted on July 7th 2013

 

The first trip did go well; wished I'd gotten to see Roman more.  The trip I leave for today will have 14 days of down time and I'll be staying in his region, so hopefully I'll get to spend that time with him.   The remainder of my time will be spent running around like a mad man from court to SDA to notary's office and to the place where he was born, followed by a final visit to the embassy.  We picked up some school supplies yesterday to give to his friends for the upcoming school year.  I would love to take tons of stuff with me, but it's not fun hauling a ton of stuff around the world.  I will try to pick up some stuff they like while I'm in the region.   

 

 

The most challenging thing we have ahead is what we're going to do when Roman and I return in a month.  As I'm sure you can imagine, have a six month old and a sixteen year old is not very common and we're finding out why very quickly.  We have a wonderful support system here, however, when it comes time to finding childcare for a sixteen year old that speaks Russian and is going to need a lot of love and attention, it gets a little harder.  All of our local family members work full time, so that's out.  Private school with translators would be great if we had an extra $1000 a month to spare.  With Tiffany taking Madeline to Mooresville to the nanny, it kind of limits our ability to take Roman to Charlotte to my Sister's house.  We are exploring all of our options right now; any suggestions would be appreciated.  I love my job and the where I work, but the work schedule is really killing us right now.  Once Madeline is in school it will be much easier, but until then, we're going to have to figure something out.  Roman will be using Rossetta Stone and I will work with him on my days off.  Once he is somewhat fluent in English, we can start a curriculum with him and possibly put him in public school.  My Mother has also offered to take him to my Sister's house so she can home school the days I work.  Like I said, we have some options, just want to make sure we do what's best for him and the whole family.  I know some of you have adopted older children(14+) and will have some great advice for us, Tiffany will be available while I'm gone and facebook is always good for chatting.  I will be gone until at least August 5th, possibly longer and I know I can use Tango from Ukraine, but not Skype, it would not work on wifi, I tried it several times and it always gave me the same message about wifi.  If you have my cell number and want to chat, download Tango and send me a message to call you back.  I also check facebook when I have access to wifi, so that will work too.  Thanks again for all the love, support and donations of your time, things and money.

 

-Ken

Update as of May 15th

Well, we once again had some setbacks.  Tiffany's health took a turn for the worst just before Madeline was born four weeks early in February.  Tiffany's blood pressure was through the roof and she was ultimately diagnosed with preeclampsia.  Because of this, the doctors recommended inducing her early.  With Madeline being premature and then immediately being diagnosed with RSV, I was unable to travel in mid March to Ukraine to begin the final stage of the adoption process.

Life has been a whirlwind of activity and hard work for the last two months, but we are finally ready to submit a letter for new court/travel dates for our SDA appointment.  After speaking to our agent, the earliest I could travel would be around three weeks.  I feel like we have a pretty good handle on Madeline's schedule at this point.  I am not thrilled about leaving my co-workers during the busiest time of the year, but they are all very proficient in their duties.  I'm sure they will miss me as much as I will miss them.  Tiffany, on the other hand, is gong to need a lot of love and support from friends and family.  After having one newborn and splitting the load with my wife, I don't know how on earth single parents do it.  Props to all you single moms and dads. 

We still have some details to work out once Roman gets here; like schooling, counseling, keeping up with his traditions and culture and lots of logistical issues.  We have the best family and friends though and we trust in the Lord and know he will guide us through this journey.  I am sure there are going to be tough times ahead, as I've read many of the other families blogs and face book posts about their adventures in Ukraine and troubles once getting home, but like they said in the Marines "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."  We should be a strong family after all this is over and if nothing else, our children will have character, which in my opinion is more important than any material possessions.

If you've made it all the way to the end of this post, you're either really bored or you genuinely care about our family and this mission.  One thing we are still in need of is money and frequent flyer miles for the commute.  If you can help or can pass our mission on through face book or other forms of multimedia, it would be greatly appreciated.  And we'd like to once again thank everyone that has donated anything or helped in any way, we love all of you.

-Ken

Donation Link Updated

Sorry for any confusion regarding the donation link.  The issue has been resolved and a new link has been posted. 

http://www.youcaring.com/adoption-fundraiser/Bringing-Roman-Home-/45339

Thanks for your continued prayers and support.

Update

Well, the last several months have been very busy.  As you all know, Tiffany was pregnant with our little girl the last time we posted.  For those of you who don't know, Madeline Grace Frost was born on 02-13-2013, 4lbs 13 oz, 4 weeks early.  We stayed at the hospital for seven days until Tiffany's fever broke and her blood pressure wen back to normal.  We came home for two days and then while at our first check up for Madeline, we were told she had RSV (a viral respiratory inspection) and she had to be put on oxygen and IV's for a week.  After over two weeks at the hospital, we finally got to come home.  So to say the least, we have been busy. 

Since our last post, we completed our dossier and got it authenticated in Raleigh.  There was a slight problem with Tiffany's employment letter, so one day after I returned, Tiffany headed back to Raleigh with the revised document.  The dossier then went over to Ukraine with another family.

Roman was scheduled to come over for hosting around Christmas, but due to some unforeseen trouble in Ukraine, he was not allowed to be hosted; he was crushed. 

We tried to focus our attention on the adoption again and continued the waiting game.  Yesterday, the adoption agent emailed me with our SDA appointment date.  The date is 03-13-2013, the same day my paternity leave ends at work, YIKES!  We are having some troubles with the adoption right now that need to be ironed out before I go buy plane tickets.  We are still gathering information right now, so I can't say much about the issues (don't want to misinform anyone), but as soon as I know, I will update everyone.  Seems like we are not the only family whose adoption is not going smoothly right now, but then, we all knew going into this that the road might get really bumpy and for some, may be a dead end, unfortunately.  I am praying that the Lord will continue to guide our paths and I am confident that everything happens for a reason and although I may not understand why things don't always work out, I know God doesn't make mistakes. 

On another note, we are still at least $15,000 short in funds and with an SDA appointment in one week, I must admit, I am starting to worry.  I have to give our in-country facilitator $9000 upon arrival in Ukraine and I still have to pay for travel expenses and other court costs and such.  I was very confident in the beginning that God would provide and I had no worries, even staring down the barrel of a $30,000 adoption cost that we did not have.  I was sure that since this was a path I was put on by God, that it would be easy and he would provide everything we needed.  Well, God doesn't necessarily work like that.  Like I said earlier, I believe in God and I know there is nothing he cannot do.  As a human, I am still a worrier.  God has never let me down before and has always provided for my family when I was faithful to him and I am hoping that this time will be no different.  After all, what's $15,000 to our God that knows no bounds.

For those of you wondering why I say $15,000 and not more, the range we were given for adoption costs was $25,000-$30,000.  So, we have $1000 in the adoption fund account + a little over $7500 we have received in donations.  I'm figuring $8500 + $15,000, being $23,000, may be enough to get us by.  I can live on next to nothing and I don't mind staying in very poor conditions to save a little money.  I would fly over with the luggage if they'd let me, kidding, no really, I would if I had to.

To all of you that have prayed for us, contributed your time or money or have helped in any way, we want to say from the bottom of hearts, thank you.

Coming Home For Christmas

Immigration -- that is where we are now and in a holding pattern at this point.  BUT we found out that Roman will be here for Christmas!  He has been approved to be here through New Horizons hosting program.  Roman will be here from December 18 - January 15 :).  Since our plan to have him permanently home at Christmas has been pushed back, words can't describe how excited we are to get to see and spend time with him for the little bit of time we will have at Christmas!   


Another great accomplishment! For a couple months now, we have been calling and talking to Roman once a week to keep him updated and just to see how he is doing.    We always tell him that we love and miss him before we get off the phone.  Last week is the first time that he told us he loved us back!!!  That just melted our hearts.

Thank you Thank you Thank you!!

Its been a while...  I wanted to post a THANK YOU to everyone who has donated their time, money and efforts to make it possible to bring our son home.  It is great to know that there are so many people out there praying and supporting us along the way. 

Update

Sorry! It has been a while since we posted. Life has been very busy lately. We had our last home study teleconference with our social worker. We have some paper work to finish and she is going to work on our report. We almost have another item we can mark off of our to do list. Once we have everything to our social worker we can start immigration paperwork.

To prepare for Roman to come home, Kenneth and I have been working very hard to prepare a room. His room is what we used to call the "workout room/storage room" Everything that was previously in that room is now in every other room in the house... Most of it needs to go into a building that we do not have or in our yard sale pile! I guess we will figure that out sooner than later - I hope ;)!

Kenneth went to IKEA and purchased a bed and a night stand. One day after I got off work, we headed to Lowe's to purchase a few things. We ended up finding a rug that goes very nice with the room. I mentioned chalkboard paint to Kenneth and he got pretty excited. Sooo needless to say one wall is painted in chalkboard paint which I have to admit it is pretty awesome. The other walls we just repainted white. We decided we would let Roman decide if he wanted to paint them a different color when he gets home. Thanks to my brother Andrew who helped me paint while Kenneth was helping clean a park in Mooresville.

The next purchase we will have to make is blinds. Man, the blinds currently hanging in the room were there when Kenneth bought this house almost 8 years ago. So they are old and need to be replaced. I am hoping to start with Roman's room and purchase the faux wood blinds.

Kenneth has the photos of the room on his phone, as soon as I get them we will post before and after photos.

A Much Better Day

I received an email from the social worker conducting our home study on Monday night!  It was much more encouraging!

She has requested that we read a book called The Connected Child  by Kayrn Purvis.  So I immediately downloaded the book tonight from Books a Million when I got home from work. I read the first chapter so far.  She also requested that we take a few online courses.  She also asked for our plans for schooling, doctors,  therapy, etc.  We just found out that a friend of the family has graciously offered her services to tutor Roman!

I am hoping that all though we had to clear a few road blocks our efforts to complete all the tasks that have been given to us will show that we are willing to do what ever it takes to bring Roman, our son, home!

I had a nice long chat with our adoption coordinator tonight as well.  She is such a sweet lady.  She answered a lot of questions that I had and eased my mind.

Please remember that we are planning a yard sale around September.  Please search your garages, attics and bedrooms for items you no longer need that you would be willing to part with  :)

Also don't forget our other fundraisers that are to your left in the sidebar. 

If you have any other ideas or suggestions for fundraising please comment and let us know.  We are open to all suggestions. 

~Tiffany

TODAY WAS A LITTLE TOUGH

Today after church we received a call from the adoption coordinator.

Tiffany and I both felt like the home study we had on Friday went very well.  We felt like we were prepared for any questions the social worker may have and afterwards we thought it well and we had answered her questions with well researched and thought out answers.

Back to the phone call today; Tiffany was speaking to the coordinator while I drove us home from church.  Two things stood out in the conversation. One, Tiffany is not old enough to be on Roman's birth certificate in the Ukraine (the age difference must be 15 years).  This little piece of information was devastating to Tiffany and so ensued the tears.  We have already been afraid Roman would feel like the baby was Tiffany's child and Roman was mine because of the timing, so this just made Tiffany feel that much more out of the adoption loop.  Then we found out we will get a new birth certificate in the US and she will be on that one. 

The second thing and admittedly much more damaging for both us of, is that the social worker told the coordinator she didn't think we were old enough to adopt a 15 year old boy.  We did not have a good reaction to this.  We have struggled with our own fears about diving into parenthood and this was less than reassuring.  What we do have to assure of this being the right thing to do is the fact that this a calling from God, for us to bring our son home.  Some people I have spoken to are having trouble with that concept.  I will try to explain it the best I can.  My own personal experience is this; I know I was commanded to go to the Ukraine to get my son and bring him home.  The understanding I have to full fill this command is as natural as eating when I am hungry or sleeping when I am tired, it is just one of those things you don't have to be reminded to do, you just do it because you know you have to.  Until it happens to you, it is very hard to understand coming from someone else.  I have never in my life had a feeling like this.  I am so positive that this is God's will that I promise you I will stake everything on it, I have never had this kind of faith in God before.  I thought giving the tithe when I was flat broke and didn't get paid for another week was living in faith, but let me tell you, this is a whole new level for me.  For those of you who know me, you know I am very methodical, practical and I will not do anything without a great deal of planning, preparation and research. 
Now, I just pray and listen to God and try my best to do what he commands. 

All we can do now is pray that God will speak to the hearts of the people that make the decisions in this adoption process and hope they listen.

-Ken

New Ways to Help

Over in the sidebar there are some new ways to help.  Our friend, Lisa Morgan, is a Scentsy consultant and brought this opportunity to us as a way to help.  Scentsy offers so many great options, I'm sure you'll find something you like.  Just follow the link and start shopping!  Orders need to be in by the end of the month.

And for those of you out there like me, who can not start your day until coffee has crossed your lips, we have Just Love Coffee.  This company was started by an adoptive family seeking news ways to raise funds for their adoption and now they are helping others do the same.

The web links for both are dedicated links for our fundraisers, so feel free to share them.

And last but not least, we plan to hold a yard sale in September.  So, if you have things you'd like to donate just let us know.  We'll be collecting the entire month of August.  Once we set a date in September, I'll let you know.

Ready, set, go!

Sending Him Back :(

So Thursday morning Roman was put back on a plane headed to Ukraine.  It was inevitable, but devastating nonetheless.  You can read that story here.  But now, we move forward.  Every day matters, more paperwork to be done, more money to raise, more prayers to be prayed.  Thank you for continuing to share in this journey with us!

Donations

Thank you for those of you who have contributed to bringing Roman home.  I know that not everyone has a paypal account.  If you would like to donate without having to set up paypal please check out this link  Bring Roman Home

You can use a credit or debit card to donate if you would like

Thank you
Tiffany

Our Journey

Thank you all for following our story!  We are pretty excited and can't wait to start our home study on August 3rd.  We have lots of paper work to fill out and turn in before then. Kenneth and I are still really new to the whole process so we will keep you updated as much as we can.

For those of you interested in donating I thought you might like to know what your donations will be used for.

The First step is the Home Study.  This usually consists of 3 or 4 visits from a social worker.  As I said before we have a lot of paper work to fill out!  This process usually takes about 4 to 6 weeks to compete.

Next we sign our contract with T. (she will be assisting us with the adoption).  She will assist us in getting our application to USCIS (US Immigration Service). We will have to complete form I-600A  (Application for Advance Processing of Orphan Petition).  We will have to provide proof of our marriage, our birth certificates and a copy of our completed home study. 

While we are waiting for the I-600A to be approved we start to prepare the Ukrainian dossier paperwork.  This process can take 3 to 4 weeks.  Before we head to Ukraine we have to have our dossier translated and authenticated in Ukraine and the submitted to to the SDA (not sure what that is).

We are planning on making two trips.  The first trip Kenneth and I will both have to go.  We will be there through the referral of the child through the Court proceedings.  This will take about 3 weeks to complete.  We will return home for a couple of weeks and Kenneth is planning on taking the second trip.  He will finish and tie up and loose ends which includes picking up the court decree, obtaining a new birth certificate for Roman, a passport and a visa from the American Embassy in Kyiv. 
Kenneth and Roman will be heading home!

Estimated Budget

1). Home Study - $1,500

· Usually consists of three visits

· If you’re not sure who to use, ask T. for a recommendation

· Make sure that that T. reviews H.S. BEFORE Social Worker issues

Takes around 4 -6 weeks typically – a lot of timing depends on you; get paperwork done as soon as possible!

2). Application to T (Adoption Process Simplified, LLC) $250

· Fill out application/contract for Adoption Process Simplified to have T.  facilitate your adoption

· Send in application with $250 check

3).Send Application package to USCIS - $890

· Check for $890

· Completed Home Study

· I-600A Application 

· Copies of Marriage Certificate

· Copies of Birth Certificates for husband and wife

· Divorce Decrees if applicable

Takes around 40 days to receive USCIS approval

4). During USCIS approval process – Prepare Ukrainian dossier paperwork  - $1,700

· Send T.’s 1st half of fee $1000

· Sign contract, send translation fee $ 500

· Apostille dossier $ 100 (can be< or > depending on state)  

· FedEx dossier to Ukraine $ 100

Takes 3-4 weeks to prepare (overlaps USCIS)

5.) Final Steps before Traveling –  $4,000

· Dossier gets translated and authenticated in Ukraine, then submitted to SDA

· Send in 2nd half of facilitation fee $1,000

· Prepare to Travel – you will receive travel date, packing list, Embassy forms and TIPS

·  flight reservations, 2 people $3,000 (semi off season)

Note – estimating flights cost is the HARDEST to predict, depends on season and advance notice and just luck!

6.) MONEY TO TAKE WITH YOU TO UKRAINE-

· $9,000 Balance for Facilitation Fee

· $100 Ukrainian cell phone and internet aircard usage

· $1,000 orphanage donation (prepare and give in a nice card to Orphanage Director)

· $1,050 Food ($25 daily X 42 days-extra just in case)

· $1000 Internal Ukraine travel (on high side – depends on region traveling to)

· $700 difference if region has expensive (OLD TYPE) passport for child

· $1,550 Lodging (Kiev Apt $70 x 5 nights=$350) + (regional apartment $40 X 30 nights=$1200)

· $300 clothing/personal items for children/Souvenirs

· $230 at the Kiev American Embassy (must be new cash correct bills - no credit card)

· $2,000 extra cash to have in case some unexpected delay happens

· $650 Plane tickets to come home including one child

Meet the Family

“Learn to do right; seek justice. Defend the oppressed. Take up the cause of the fatherless; plead the case of the widow.”  ~Isaiah 1:17

Tonight, I am writing a guest post for my brother and my sister-in-law.  Tiffany works as a paralegal in Mooresville, where Ken serves in law enforcement.  I am writing, because they are far too busy with all of the wonderful and exciting new things that God has blessed them with.  Most of you reading this post already know Ken & Tiffany, but for those of you who may not here is a quick introduction.  While they have only been married a few months, their relationship began almost a decade ago.  They both told me they couldn’t wait to get married and start a family!  I was thrilled!  Honestly, I’ve been dying for my brother to get some payback, for my kids to have cousins.  I had hoped that they would get pregnant right away and we’d have a new baby in the family before their first anniversary.  In the meantime, my own family was called to a mission project of sorts (you can read all about it here www.mommasmonkey.blogspot.com if you like).  We were being called to host an orphan from Ukraine for 5 weeks this summer.  His name is Roman and he is amazing!  I restarted my blog with the stories of our mission with Roman.  This is where “my story” ends and Ken & Tiffany’s begins. 

Ken & Tiffany are parents-to-be!!  That’s right, you heard me, future Mom & Dad, in more ways than one.  Now pick your jaw up off the floor.  Let me clarify, for those of you that dozed off a little in the middle.  Ken & Tiffany are going to adopt a 15 yr. old boy, named Roman from Ukraine AND they are expecting the birth of their first child!   “WHAT?!?  How did this happen?” – I hear you all screaming.  Well, be patient and I will tell you.  Remember I told you that Ken & Tiffany have been together for nearly a decade and that they hoped to start a family right away.  Well God had such an amazing journey planned for them and gave them both His blessing!  Kenny knew almost immediately after reading my first blog post that God was calling him to be a father to this boy he had never met.  He wrestled with whether it was right or if it was even something he wanted, but was overwhelmed by this feeling that this is what he MUST do.  He admits that he knew Tiffany would be his biggest obstacle, not knowing how she felt about adoption.  Tiffany was looking forward to meeting Roman (but did not have any expectations) and invited our family up to celebrate Kenny’s birthday.  We all had a wonderful time, but it was getting late and we needed to go.  I had all the crew loaded in the van and was saying goodbye when Roman hopped out of the van.  He ran over and hugged Tiffany & Kenny.  And that was it, one hug and she was hooked.  She cried all the way to work the next day.  They both prayed about it individually, still not knowing how the other felt.  By the time they had a chance to talk, God had planted seeds so deep in both their hearts that they were certain of His will.  About a week later, they found out that they were expecting!  We aren’t allowed to share too many details about Roman, but I just have to tell you, that Roman and the baby could share a birthday!  I am one excited Auntie!!  Please join me in praising God for bringing this family together.  Please pray for them also, they will have a LOT to do in a very short amount of time.  They will also need to raise funds to bring Roman home.  Here is where you can help.  Every little bit helps, so if you can, please donate.  Also, would you please share their story with your friends, coworkers, family, and church?  Ask them to pray, to donate, and to share as well.  We can’t wait to bring Roman home and to tell him about all the people that helped to make that possible.  We will update here as we meet deadlines and fundraising goals so you can follow our progress.